Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i drank out of a bidet.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
