I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
