At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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