false alarm. still invincible.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
