my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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