Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
