He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
