Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
