you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
