I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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