The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You made out with two different species that night
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
