So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
