I think I died a long time ago.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
