I wanna bring you to show and tell
so explain again why im purple
no
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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