you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
