I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
