these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
