did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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