I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
