belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
