i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
