Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
