We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
be right there i have to get my cape
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
