it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
