I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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