bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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