Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
