reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
