I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
