dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
