you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
