On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
