went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
