I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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