I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I love you. Go after that dick
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
