My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What drink are we having for lunch?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
