i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
