Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
