Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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