69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
