I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
