I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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