The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
