you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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