...so i touched it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
