i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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