I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
