And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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