Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
