were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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