my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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