My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
