No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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